Conflict Style Self Discovery Quiz
Take a fun quiz to discover your conflict style — avoider, fighter, or problem-solver — and learn when each approach works best.
What You'll Need
- 1Printed or written quiz sheets
- 2Pens or pencils
- 3Score tallying sheet
What You'll Need
A printed or handwritten quiz (8-10 scenario questions with three answer choices each)
Pens or pencils
A scoring key
How to Play
Write 8-10 conflict scenario questions. Example: "Your friend borrows your favorite book and loses it. Do you: A) Say it's fine even though you're upset, B) Tell them you're angry and demand they replace it, C) Tell them you're upset and ask how they can make it right?"
Each question has three answer styles: A = Avoid, B = Confront, C = Collaborate.
Everyone takes the quiz honestly and independently.
Tally results: mostly A's = Avoider, mostly B's = Confronter, mostly C's = Collaborator.
Share results. Most people are a mix of styles.
Discuss: "When is avoiding smart? When does confronting help? Why is collaborating often best?"
Practice a scenario using a style that ISN'T your natural one.
Why It Works
Self-awareness is the foundation of all social-emotional growth. When kids discover their default conflict style, they gain power over it rather than being controlled by it. The quiz format makes self-reflection feel like a game rather than a lecture. The discussion afterward teaches that no style is always right or always wrong — sometimes avoiding a conflict is wise, sometimes confronting is necessary. The practice round with a non-default style expands their repertoire. Kids who can flex between styles handle social situations more effectively.
Tips
Emphasize that no style is "bad." Avoiders are empathetic. Confronters are brave. Collaborators are creative.
Share your own results honestly. "I tend to avoid conflict too, and sometimes that makes things worse."
Revisit after real conflicts: "Which style did you use? Was it the right one for that situation?"
This is a wonderful activity for siblings who fight frequently. Understanding each other's default style creates compassion.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does this activity take?
This activity takes about 25 min, with 15 min of preparation time beforehand.
What materials do I need?
You'll need: printed or written quiz sheets, pens or pencils, score tallying sheet.
What age is this activity for?
This activity is designed for 8-12 years. You can adapt it for younger or older children by adjusting the complexity.
Can this be done indoors?
This activity is designed for indoor play, making it perfect for rainy days or when you're staying inside.
How difficult is this activity?
This activity has a moderate difficulty level. It may require some preparation or guidance, but is manageable for most families.
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