Appreciation Circle Hot Seat Game
Take turns in the 'hot seat' while everyone else shares one thing they appreciate about that person — a powerful self-esteem and connection builder.
What You'll Need
No materials — just people who care about each other
How to Play
Sit in a circle. Choose who goes first in the "hot seat."
Everyone else takes turns sharing one specific thing they appreciate about that person.
Specificity is key: "I appreciate that you helped me practice my lines for the play" hits differently than "You're cool."
The person in the hot seat has one job: receive. No deflecting ("Oh, that's nothing"), no embarrassment, no arguing. Just "Thank you."
After everyone shares, the hot seat person says thank you and passes the seat.
Continue until everyone has been appreciated.
Close the circle: "How did that feel? What surprised you?"
Why It Works
Receiving genuine appreciation is one of the most powerful emotional experiences available, and most people — especially tweens — rarely experience it fully. The hot seat format ensures that each person is the sole focus of positive attention. The specificity rule forces the speakers to think deeply about what they value in the relationship. For tweens navigating the often cruel social landscape of middle school, hearing that their family members see them clearly and appreciate them specifically is deeply anchoring. Learning to receive a compliment gracefully is itself a social skill.
Tips
Model going first. Share something specific and heartfelt to set the tone.
If someone struggles to think of something, give a prompt: "Think about a time they made you laugh or helped you."
Receiving is the hardest part. Coach kids to simply say "Thank you" without deflecting.
Do this at birthdays, holidays, or just random Tuesday nights. The surprise makes it more powerful.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does this activity take?
This activity takes about 20 min, with 0 min of preparation time beforehand.
What age is this activity for?
This activity is designed for 8-12 years. You can adapt it for younger or older children by adjusting the complexity.
Can this be done indoors or outdoors?
This activity works great both indoors and outdoors, giving you flexibility based on the weather or your space.
How difficult is this activity?
This is an easy activity that requires minimal setup and supervision. Great for busy days or when you need something quick.
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